Dynamic Duos: The Alpha/Beta Key to Unlocking Success in Gay Relationships - Books

Location: Home > Books > General > Dynamic Duos: The Alpha/Beta Key to Unlocking Success in Gay Relationships

Similar Items:

•	Since My Last Confession: A Gay Catholic Memoir
•	Shelter
•	The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
•	Bears
•	The Q Guide to Gay Beaches (The Q Guides)

Editorial Reviews:

Product Description

Forget everything you’ve ever been told about gay dating. In this revolutionary approach to finding and keeping love, psychotherapist Keith W. Swain shows you how to open the door to a new world of hidden gay men, one of whom is your Mr. Right. The key is the “Alpha” vs. “Beta” style, counter-balancing traits necessary for success. Test yourself to see which one you are and what your perfect partner will be.

Behind its amusing framework of superheroes, Dynamic Duos gives science-based answers that explain why you’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places. Based on new data from the National Survey of Male Relationships, Swain zeroes in on the strategies that will work for you, spells out the eight early indicators of a gay couple on their way to a successful lifelong marriage, and demonstrates how to write the perfect personal ad to attract your type.

Filled with illuminating case stories and practical tips, Dynamic Duos is your guide to finding lifelong love. Batman or Robin, your perfect mate is out there. What are you waiting for?

Keith W. Swain, PsyD, has a private practice in Denver, and he has also been a professor of psychology at the University of Colorado at Denver.

Customer Reviews: Read 3 more reviews...

3 out of 5 stars

Get along great, and you love him? Nope, his score say you gotta dump him! September 9, 2008
5 out of 8 found this review helpful

I'll admit a predisposition against "self-help" books that minimize the diversity and varied experiences of a significant portion of the human race to a universal, generalized "one size fits all" solution to everyone's problems. "Dynamic Duos" is the worst example of that I have ever seen.

In a nutshell, Mr. Swain breaks down the dynamics of gays dating and seeking a relationship to a kind of unintentional role playing game, with "superheros" looking for "sidekicks" and vice versa. The former are the "alpha" males looking for their respective "beta" partners, based on results of a test that irrevocably brands you as one or the other.

I won't go into the specifics of the test, which consists of 100 true-false questions, ranging from sexual (mostly top/bottom), physical (including hair growth patterns and what thumb goes on top when you clasp your hands) and subjective self-analysis of your emotions and body image, to somewhat bizarre questions, such as your method of parallel parking. Add up the "true" responses, and classify yourself as Alpha or Beta (and lower case alpha and beta based on a smaller sample of the questions). Swain says this will enable you to find your ideal partner, and - just as importantly - know what people you won't be compatible with for a relationship ... regardless of how well you get along, so you may as well break up now, rather than waste each other's time! And the questionable advice doesn't end there: when you finally meet "Mr. Right," you must abandon your gay friends, singles or couples, and only associate with heterosexuals, if you don't want to ruin your relationship.

Had enough? Actually, there are some snippets of insightful and worthwhile advice here and there, as Swain takes you through some common problems facing gay couples, such as aging, finances and diminished sexual interest. Unfortunately, these lose credibility when sandwiched around the gist of his theory about gay couples. I give the effort 3 stars out of 5.

5 out of 5 stars

Dynamic Duos August 30, 2008
2 out of 5 found this review helpful

Great book shows the diffrence between Alpha and Beta Gay Men lets you look at why there may be breakups
between the same in a relationship. Enjoy the book.

Arthur:)

4 out of 5 stars

A PROVOCATIVE AND USEFUL BOOK August 21, 2008
3 out of 5 found this review helpful

I read a great deal, and enjoy most of what I read. Much of it enriches me in one way or another. However, only a handful of the thousands of books I've read in my life has actually changed my thinking about something. DYNAMIC DUOS changed my thinking about dating.

What impresses me the most about Swain's book is that it is evidence-informed. It is not perfect evidence to be sure, but Swain tries to build a relationship model for gay men that is based on empirical data. This is the key difference between this book and the others I've read.

Swain's model suggests that gay men exhibit physiological and psychological traits and mating behaviors ranging on a continuum from Alpha ("traditional" male) to Beta ("traditional" female). (As I'm a Myers-Briggs fanatic, I observed that many of the non-physiological traits could be reframed as ranging from NT/ST to NF/SF). By knowing where we fall on the continuum, Swain suggets we can propose a complementary opposite marriage partner with whom we would have a higher than normal chance of long-term success.

Perhaps Swain will go further in subsequent books, and refine the model. For example, he mentions a shift in some gay men from Beta to Alpha as they age, but does not adequately explain this phenomenon. I wonder if additional research might show a greater propensity for such shifts in men who are closer to the midpoint of the scale versus those closer to the poles; a sort of reconsidered bisexuality, if you will.

Anyway, a worthwhile and interesting book that I recommend.

5 out of 5 stars

Outstanding, Eye-opening, and Effective August 8, 2008
4 out of 6 found this review helpful

I was caught off-guard by Dynamic Duos. I expected your standard gay dating/mating book, but it is nothing of the type. The author examines gay relationships from a completely new and fresh angle, using scientific research into the mating behaviors of gay men to reveal the dating patterns that result in successful long-term gay relationships. This insight alone would have made my purchase worthwhile, but in addition, Dr. Swain provides concrete and easy to follow advice on how to put this research to use in your everyday life. I was skeptical at first, but have been following the advice offered in the book and three weeks ago I met a great guy who has never really been involved in the gay world. Is he Mr. Right? I don't know yet, but we've been having a great time together and my hopes are high. And this is coming from a guy who hadn't had a date in two years! Dynamic Duos is well written and is easy to read - it feels like a nice conversation with a good friend. Throughout the book there are stories and quotes from men, (some of which are very sexy). The author doesn't shy away from showing both the good and the bad side of the gay community, and as a result may make some men angry, but if you are seeking a real life-long marriage, a "dynamic duo" of your own, I would highly recommend this book.

1 out of 5 stars

Reductionist and Essentialist July 31, 2008
14 out of 20 found this review helpful

Swain's assertion that a successful gay couple must be comprised of a butch Alpha and a sissy Beta type is simplistic in the extreme and is not supported by published, peer-reviewed research. The book is full of Swain's sweeping generalizations without sufficient explanations of how his conclusions were derived. The solution to your dating worries? If you're a bottom, choose a top for a boyfriend. And the converse. Oh wait, I mean if you're a Beta, choose an Alpha. Problem solved!

I'm also concerned that Swain presents himself as a doctor, yet he obtained his doctoral degree from a distance-learning program that is not accredited with the American Psychological Association. Calling yourself a doctor when you are practicing under a master's-level license is bordering on unethical in my opinion as average consumers don't understand the contradiction and assume that doctor=psychologist.

Not recommended.

Good Grape Wine Company