January 9 2008

Alder at Vinography.com wrote a post on some scurrilous activity by Wine.com last week. I followed on with a similar post. Alder’s post has generated a firestorm of comments one of which is so fantastic that I’m reproducing in full (and I hope the folks at Winemonger.com don’t mind) because it’s a monologue that would make both the screenwriter AND Jack Nicholson from “A Few Good Men” fawn in admiration.
In fact, if you watch the “A Few Good Men” snippet on YouTube (linked above) you should smile at yourself over the parallels ...
To Wine.com:
As a fellow online retailer who abides by the rules and pays dearly for it every day, we do understand your frustration with those who take illegal shortcuts. We also cannot side with those who call for civil disobedience in this matter. It is an uncomfortable fact of life that our social contract comes with a set of rules that are put down as laws, which at times do grow to be outdated, senseless, archaic and only remain in place to benefit the selfish interests of a few. Freeing the grapes, promoting free trade, and freeing bottles of wine from their legally imposed incarceration are all noble quests, but they hardly constitute a good case for civil disobedience. Furthermore, breaking these laws does, as has been pointed out, only play into the hands of those that profit from them (and pay millions to keep them in place).
However, this argument against those retailers who choose to break the rules has to be kept strictly separate from the path you have chosen. Going vigilante and taking action against those retailers by setting up a sting operation is not only a well-deserved act of PR self-mutilation, it is also just a despicable thing to do. Let’s take Alder’s freeway example a step further. Your action is like tossing nails out onto the freeway and then speeding away ahead of them. All of us online retailers who rely on markets to stay open will get to feel the repercussions of your selfish action.
You state that fairness was the goal. Where then is the fair open letter to all online wine retailers asking them to abide by the rules so we can strip this market from its medieval chastity belt together? You could have even gone so far as to invite everyone to get on board by a certain date and announced your plan to be the monitor of this club of white hat retailers, and then this group of dandy lads could then have jointly approached the authorities and asked to be recognized as those who abide by the rules voluntarily. By process of elimination the trade enforcement authorities (not you but those other guys who actually work for the government) would have then known where to look. You could have been the leader of this noble band of brothers and come out of your quest for a level playing field smelling like a rose (or at least like a carnation). Instead, you chose the way of the sneaky tattle-tailer that everyone couldn’t stand at school and you pissed on yourself.
We adhere to the rules and ship only where we can legally ship to. We are probably one of the smaller online retailers by virtue of importing the wines we sell ourselves rather than buying them from wholesalers who bought from other importers. We, as you, do also work with wholesalers at times, only they are our customers and not our vendors. Meaning we too have an interest in getting along with them. BUT, we will not side with those who have no love for wine and no interest in allowing the free trade of it. Fortunately there are a lot of good distributors out there with their wine hearts beating loudly for those amazing wines that some producers make for the world to enjoy.
So apparently you were the Washington customer that we recently had to refuse to sell wine to. We do want to help you get the wine you requested, and here is a way around the law that is perfectly legal. Instead of shipping your wines to yourself in Washington, send it to your aunt in California or any of the other 26 states we can legally ship to. Then have your dear auntie bring those bottles along the next time she visits you.
In fact, we have put together a special flight of wines for you. It’s called the “Sting Op 007” and is comprised of some of our best Gruner Veltliners, Rieslings, red wines and award winning dessert wines. And if you act now, you will enjoy a special 15% discount, PLUS we will give 10% of the proceeds for all the Sting Op 007 cases ordered by anyone to the SWRA. Just enter ISUCK as a discount code at checkout. Enjoy.
Cheers from Stephan and Emily at Winemonger.com
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
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