Good Grape Wine Company

July 15 2007

Wine Genie in a Bottle

I had a dream that I opened a bottle of value wine from Trader Joe’s and out popped a Wine Genie, a “Trader Genie,” if you will.  He offered to grant me 10 wishes, plus five additional wishes, if he liked my first wish, but only seven total could be wine related and all had to be related to the betterment of mankind.  I jogged a quick note, told the genie that he was awfully particular and made my first wish:

Here’s what I asked for:

1) I wished that buying inexpensive wine from Trader Joe’s was more reliable and less crapshoot

My wish pleased the genie and three additional wishes were granted

2) I wished that all people would return their shopping carts to the return corral instead of leaving them free to catch a wind gust and bang into my car

3) I wished that the “green” movement would quickly move to trend and get out of “fad” territory while at the same time teaching people how to simply recycle before moving into discussions about carbon offsets.

4) I wished that budget hotels would stop installing granite surfaces

5) I wished that the whole “mixologist” and cocktail hype would come to a merciful end

6) I wished that Axl Rose, leader singer of Guns ‘n Roses would either finally release “Chinese Democracy” or just go away

7) I wished that I wouldn’t have to pay for $3 bottled water at the airport after being forced to first dump whatever liquid I had before entering through security

8) I wished that an “A” – list celebrity would raise the bar on star-related wine offerings

9) I wished that wine blogs would ascend in influence to the top of the online blogging pyramid

10) I wished that “fruit-bomb” would be stricken from every wine writer’s vocabulary.

11) I wished that my palate was as sharp as my wife, who is only marginally interested in wine (this does not benefit mankind, but the Wine Genie was still trying to get his head around “fruit-bomb” when I slid this in).

12) I wished that Indianapolis, IN had one ground-breaking food and wine institution on par with Berkeley’s Chez Panisse or Kermit Lynch Wine Merchant.

13) I wished that one medical researcher would combine ALL of the wine-related medical research and health benefits into one document, for easy publicity and marketing for the industry and saving people from tracking down 76 different press releases and research papers. 

14) I wished that a wine marketer would then get smart, take that wine medical research and brand an adult wine-tasting party game of “Operation” with wine’s medical benefits

15) I wished that almost 40 years after the counter-cultural movement in the 1960s, we didn’t have history repeating itself in the new millennium

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