October 16 2006
Go ahead, I dare you. I double-dog dare you. Try and find Napa River Winery in Napa Valley.
Go ahead – Google it: “Napa River Winery + address”
What did you find?
I tried, too. And, I tried a bunch of other strings and things that led me to lists of Napa wineries, none of which included Napa River Winery.
In fact, I was in Napa last week and looked on the Internet AND in an actual phone book (remember those)?
No such place as Napa River Winery.
That makes Trader Joe’s current monthly offer of its Napa River Wines oddly peculiar.
To be fair, I checked their Fearless Flyer monthly circular and the wine is being offered in Northern California as well as in Indiana, my home state, so I feel a little less inclined to wonder with deep skepticism because at least they aren’t just foisting flawed wine *only* on the naïve Midwest.
TJ’s current flyer has the following offer (excerpted):
Napa River Wines come to us from one of our best suppliers in the wine biz, a producer known for its commitment to quality and value. The wines themselves are produced by established vintners around Napa. Why, you ask, are they willing to sell their wares for prices so far below market rates? The answer is space. In a nutshell, most large wineries hold wine in tanks until demand dictates bottling. If the tanks are still full when the new harvest approaches, they must either bottle the wine or sell it in bulk to another winery. Bulk sales are quick and bring in a whole lot of cash right away. Thus, our partner is able to buy quality Napa wines at rock bottom prices. And we pass those savings on to you.
These wines are cellared and bottled at the Napa River Winery in Napa, California.
Each is just $4.99 a bottle, only at your neighborhood Trader Joe’s, and only while these quantities last.
Hmmm ... besides the obvious creative license they have taken with the description of the bulk wine process ... I mean, honestly, “If the tanks are still full when the new harvest approaches, they must either bottle the wine or sell it in bulk ...” Please. They make it seem almost quaint. Sounds like a diamond ring radio commercial – (deeply intoned radio voice) “We go to the source to cut out the middleman and save YOU money.” If I’m not mistaken, if the wine isn’t good enough to go into a second label it gets bulked out pretty quickly ... it’s not happenstance based on space availability.
But, the real head scratcher is where the heck is Napa River? It’s probably next to Napa Ridge—Fred Franzia’s “ Napa” winery.
digg this | toast this! | add to del.icio.us | add to newsvine | add to furl | add to reddit |
Posted in, Good Grape Daily: Pomace & Lees. Permalink | Comments (1) | Print | Email This
Enter your email address for a monthly summary of posts, additional news and information available only to email subscribers. Your email is never rented, nor sold to anybody else!
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 License.
Design by The Blog Studio
