Good Grape Wine Company

January 11 2007

The Bottle and the Boor

I’m a bit of the self-aware sort, so I asked my wife at the end of the night if I was out of line, or even slightly too “in-the-know” and therefore exhibiting a pattern of behavior that could cause an eyeball to roll and be considered off-putting.  She said no.  And, trust me when I say my wife has no issue with calling a spade a spade and telling me exactly how she feels.

I leave it to you then, dear reader, to help me understand if I was dealing with a boor, or if in fact I was off-putting with an eagerness to express a shared understanding about a shared area of interest.

It’s kind of like the old poker axiom:  when you size up the table you always try and find the sucker, the rube, and if you can’t find him, then you’re the sucker.  Kind of like that, except this was a game of “find the boor.” 

I recently had occasion to be a guest at a holiday mixer.  The party was filled with folks who were familiar with each other but largely just acquaintances.  This generally leads to lots of small talk and brief asides into a re-occurring conversational thread for the night.  For example, roving rounds of conversation around the recent re-decorating, or how much time it took to get the house ready for the holidays, or the traffic at the mall for shopping, etc.

You’ve been to these parties, trust me.

At this particular party the host had a wine cellar that she was showing off to a wandering band of minstrel guests.  That was the re-occurring conversational thread.  “So, you have a cellar.”

The hostess is about 25 years my senior and was not aware that I drank wine any more than she knew about Jane down the streets odd predilection for vintage fiesta ware—this is to say, she had no knowledge.  You have to understand then that contextually the loose outline of the conversation thread that follows would be prefaced by no baseline shared understanding of wine with the person with whom I was speaking. 

Presumably, if somebody says something that remotely resembles some level of knowledge indicating a higher-level of interest than a rapport might start to develop.

In the cellar, which was a nice 7 or 8 hundred bottle area the size of a small walk-in closet with temperature control, I immediately noted the Saintsbury Pinot Noir.

Good Grape:  That’s a nice bottle.  I have a friend whose wife is Asst. Winemaker there.

You would think that might elicit some follow-up.  You would be wrong.  Cricket.  Cricket.

Good Grape: (eyeballing the Silver Oak):  Silver Oak is nice, do you get shipments? 

You would think that might lead to a conversation about sourcing and the twice annual releases, but nah. 

Good Grape: (eyeballing the Bordeaux cases):  Do you drink Bordeaux? Every year I think about getting futures, but, boy, this year the prices are just crazy.

You would think that might lead to a conversation about the two dozen bottles from 1999 and 2000 that were sitting in neatly packed boxes.  Nah. Distracted silence.

And, so on and so forth for at least another three comments/observations/questions.  Basically everything I said that was an attempt at some level of shared understanding was a non-sequitar to something else, and so on and so forth.

I, unfortunately, left the conversation shaking my head wondering if she was just a completely self-absorbed wine snob, or if perhaps I was trying to hard to demonstrate my wine chops and therefore was coming off as my own sort of jerk.

Later, after I had excused myself to go back upstairs and get another house pour (which was pretty good, by the way) I asked my wife I was out of line or off-putting and she said no that the hostess was very rude for not picking up on the verbal cues to have an advanced conversation.

So, I leave it to you, reader.  Was I a “check out the big brain on brad” or was the hostess either A) a clueless wine wannabe or B) An in-the-know wine wannabe that didn’t suffer fools?  And, have you ever been in a situation like this at a party?  Leave a comment. 

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